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For nine years of school, I was bullied due to my unique interest in STEM and my body weight. I was often classified as the unwanted kid and the class weirdo, thus being cut off from social groups. In those moments of discouragement and disappointment, I found inspiration and escape in TED Talks.

From Simon Sinek’s legendary How great leaders inspire action to Angela Duckworth’s Grit: The power of passion and perseverance and Adam Grant’s The surprising habits of original thinkers, each video helped me develop a strong sense of self, understand what truly matters to me, and create a vision for who I wanted to be. I decided to act on the hopes I have for the future, not the fears from yesterday, and I signed up for my school debate team.

Then, three years ago, I joined the first-ever TED-Ed Club in my area, where I had the chance to create my own TED-style Talk. For the first time, I was able to not only showcase my perspective and experience as a victim of bullying, but give advice to other students who struggled. Through speaking, I managed to heal my wounds and motivate other students to rise beyond their surroundings.

A year later, I used the TED-Ed Student Talks platform again to share the message of the power of never giving up. Then just when everything seemed like it was going perfectly, North Macedonia became trapped in endless quarantines and lockdowns. My journey to becoming a student in the United States was replaced by  Zoom screens. To receive a full college experience, I decided to take a gap year, or as I like to call it, a bridge year, before enrolling in an American university. Though this wasn’t an easy decision, I applied the message I shared in my Talk and asked myself: if I chose to take one lesson from an unusual and distinctive year like 2020, what would it be? I chose to embrace the discovery of my passion and purpose.

I tried to enroll in gap year programs but they were all so expensive, and then a TED-Ed newsletter changed my life when they shared the opportunity to apply to Global Citizen Year Academy, a semester-long launchpad towards a purposeful life. Leadership, global cohort, speakers, and motivation? It had everything I needed.

I registered for the Global Citizen Year Academy in June 2020 and a month later I received my acceptance letter with a full scholarship. From that night until today, it’s felt like I have the world at my fingertips. I’ve also received a strong community, delightful enthusiasm, and opportunity to embrace leadership as a practice, and not as a position on my resume.

Utilizing the resources and knowledge I’ve gained on project management, human-centered design, and empathy, I wondered how I could be the hero of my community. To break the misconception that living sustainably is an expensive and challenging commitment, I founded the organization and technology platform EnRoute, an upcoming personalized mobile application that lets users harness their transport, shopping, and household activities to reduce their carbon footprint, rewarding them with real-life prizes for every reduced gram of CO2.

Global Citizen Year Academy made me aware of the power and passion our generation holds and I’ve connected it to harness the small everyday actions and reduce their carbon footprint. EnRoute received the Social Impact Award of 2020 and won the Grand Prize on Girls Voices For Future Contest. And most importantly, EnRoute has reduced over 100,000 kg of CO2 emissions.

As for myself, I’ve learned how to share my voice, turn passion into purpose, motivate others, and create a new generation of climate heroes.

Check out Angela’s Talk on the power of never giving up:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Angela Busheska is a 19-year-old upcoming student at Lafayette College and a Macedonian social entrepreneur, researcher-innovator, and speaker. She is the Founder & CEO of EnRoute, uses the power of STEM to make a change and, as a victim of severe bullying, she shares her voice to motivate fellow teenagers. In 2020, she was recognized as a “Youth Talent” by the President of North Macedonia and took part in the Global Citizen Year Academy assisted by the Shawn Mendes Foundation. At the end of the day, she is an unshakable optimist and a big dreamer who believes that the power of never giving up is the only thing that can bring miracles in life. You can check the full bio on her website.

Interested in learning more about Angela’s venture EnRoute? Visit their website and sign up to join EnRoute’s beta-testing group here!

Justin Tran

We call young people who step outside gender lines “brave.” But if adults truly want to support them, we need to be willing to show some courage and embrace some discomfort, say Michele Yulo and Audrey Mason-Hyde.

“When we find out that someone is having a baby, what is the very first question we ask? ‘Boy or girl?’” says Michele Yulo in a talk given at TEDxUtica. Beginning with the blue or pink wallpaper and continuing to trucks or dolls, this distinction sets children on separate gender paths that can shape much of their lives.

But does it need to? Or, are there ways in which we can offer kids more freedom to discover who they are? Yulo and teenager Audrey Mason-Hyde offer their suggestions.

When Michele Yulo’s daughter Gabby first learned to walk and talk, she didn’t show any interest in so-called “girly” things. “In fact,” says Yulo, the Atlanta-based founder of kids’ clothing brand Princess Free Zone, “she didn’t want to be anything like me; she wanted to be more like my husband.”

Yulo made a conscious decision to support Gabby’s preferences, and, when possible, not restrict her from doing and wearing what she wanted. For Yulo, a turning point came when Gabby was seven.

“She already had short hair. One day she said to me, ‘Mom, if boys can have a buzz cut, why can’t girls?’” recalls Yulo. “And there was nothing I could say to that. She was absolutely right; it was her hair, it was her choice. I did say to her, ‘Gabby, if you buzz your hair, I just want you to know people might look at you funny.’” But Gabby told her mother she was fine with that, so they went out to get her a buzz cut.

The result was worth it, says Yulo. “Gabby could not have been happier, and I knew right at that moment that allowing her to walk out into the world how she wanted to walk out into the world was what mattered.”

“These stereotypes set in and attach themselves like a second skin that will follow a child all the way through adulthood.”

How can we translate this to the kids in our own lives? Adults need to learn to embrace them and their choices, according to Yulo. “Sometimes, kids who step outside gender lines are viewed as courageous, but I don’t believe that kids should have to be brave to be who they are. As parents, we have to be.”

This means standing up for them in public when they go against the stereotypes. For example, when Yulo and her family went to Disney World, a hotel employee asked Yulo: Was Gabby her little prince?

Yulo’s response: “No, and she’s not a princess either.’”

However, this doesn’t mean that children can’t enjoy the things they’re naturally drawn to. But we should think about when, where and how we may be directing them to fit the norms. Yulo recalls feeling her heart sink on seeing parents shoo their girls away from the boys’ clothing aisles where she and Gabby were browsing.

It’s easy to think, “What’s the big deal? Our kids have plenty of time to make their own choices when they’re grownups.” But childhood is when so many of our beliefs and self-conceptions are formed, work that it’s much harder to undo later. As Yulo says, “The reality is that these stereotypes set in and attach themselves like a second skin that will follow a child all the way through adulthood.”

Ultimately, this comes down to the aspirations that we hold for our children. Yulo asks, “We have the capability as parents to open up their worlds so that they truly have endless opportunities from which to choose. Isn’t that what we all want for our kids?”

And if we’re truly interested in expanding the possibilities for all children — not just the ones we know well — we need to look at how we handle our casual interactions. In a 2017 TEDxAdelaide talk, Audrey Mason-Hyde, then 12 years old, speaks openly about how strangers can unwittingly impose on one’s personal freedom. “In my experience, one of the first things people do is assume I’m a boy, or aren’t sure whether I’m a girl or a boy.”

Audrey’s distinctive style includes suits, bow ties, and flamingo socks. Exploring the world through fashion and clothing has been key to Audrey’s relationship with gender. “Until about the age of nine, when someone mistook me for a boy, I would reply comfortably that I’m a girl,” says Audrey. “But eventually, it stopped feeling right; instead of gaining confidence the more it happened, I lost it. ‘Girl’ didn’t feel right, but ‘boy’ didn’t feel correct either.”

“What my gender expression and identity is, is entirely about me and not about how other people perceive me.”

Now 14, Audrey identifies as non-binary, or just simply Audrey (and uses the pronouns they/their/them). But this comes with some unexpected complications in public spaces. “I remember one of my first days at school, and I was in the girls’ toilet when two girls I knew came near me and said, ‘Look, there’s a boy in here,’” Audrey recalls. “I looked over my shoulder, but there was no one there. So I asked them, ‘Where?’ I realized they meant me. I was really shocked, as I’d only been around people who knew and understood me. I felt upset and alienated.”

Similar incidents happened in restrooms outside school. Audrey says, “Often, I would get things like ‘Why are you in here?’ or ‘Wrong bathroom.’ This eventually led to me being hesitant and tentative about even going to the bathroom in public.”

These experiences made Audrey only more determined to be themselves. Audrey says, “I’ve realized that, for me, gender is a spectrum. What my gender expression and identity is, is entirely about me and not about how other people perceive me.”

For Audrey, having to think hard about which toilets to use and how people may respond is stressful and a bit dehumanizing. Audrey says, “Using the girls’ toilets, I never feel good, and I still have a tendency to go with someone else. Though I’m not labeled as a particular gender when I go to the disabled toilets, I don’t feel great still, because it just reminds me that there are mostly no toilets for people like me, who don’t identify within the gender binary, and that toilets are just another way we categorize people.”

So, what should we do when find ourselves in a bathroom with someone who has a gender identity that we can’t quite place? Audrey’s advice: Accept not knowing.

Audrey says, “Would it hurt you not to know someone’s gender? Despite how uncomfortable it might make you feel, you assuming my gender makes me feel uncomfortable every day. All I’m asking is for you to just sit with that little bit of uncomfortable to make someone else feel better.”

Watch Michele Yulo’s TEDxUtica talk:

Watch Audrey Mason-Hyde’s TEDxAdelaide talk:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest.

This post was originally published on TED Ideas. It’s part of the “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.

Jenice Kim

Let’s celebrate boys for their abilities, values and passions, and show them that their character matters more than their height, says rapper and poet Meta Sarmiento.

I was born and raised on the island of Guam. An unincorporated territory of the US, Guam is located in Micronesia. One of the first things I learned in kindergarten was that you couldn’t find Guam on a globe without using a magnifying glass. Imagine a half-grown child, standing on shore, staring at the expansive horizon and realizing a single grain of sand is bigger than his home on a map.

Now I’m not that half-grown child anymore. I’m more like a half-grown adult — I’m 5’5” when I got my shoes on.

When you’re a tiny kid who grows up in a tiny house on a very small island, you naturally start to feel how big the rest of the world is. In a society that emphasizes the enormity of things, being little can be a huge hurdle. At school, the bigger kids roughed me up because they could.

It began innocently enough — can’t get on the roller coaster because I’m too short, can’t join my division in football because I’m too light, can’t date girls in heels. But, then, life got more complicated — can’t defend the people I love, can’t speak my mind because I’m too afraid, can’t compete with others in my field of work on a global scale.

Everything I learned taught me that size will always be the final measurement of strength. How could little old me ever be strong? I carried that question with me, and at every turn I heard the same answer — a voice saying, “You’re too weak.” Eventually, that voice started screaming, “You will never be good enough for anyone or anything,” and I believed it.

I felt hopelessly weak for a long time until my sister gave birth to Elijah, her first son and my eldest nephew. Everyone in my family says he reminds them of me. He’s musically inclined, he loves to read, he’s emotionally intelligent — and he’s also really small.

So when I started seeing myself in him, I grew worried. I didn’t want him to harbor the same self-doubts or feel hopelessly weak, but I knew it was inevitable. I wanted to be that super-awesome uncle who could help him through it all, but how could I do that if I was stuck in the same place?

Eli was my motivation to figure things out. One of the most important things I did was ask myself: “In what other ways am I strong?”

I realized that we need to stop portraying boys’ strength in such a limited way. We need to stop focusing on mass alone — the extent of one’s strength should not be determined solely by one’s size. Why? Because we are so much more than a push or a pull or a fist and a body.

If we can teach young boys at an early age to look beyond their physical attributes and to look inward to reflect on their abilities, their values, their passions and their knowledge, we might have a world full of boys and men who are less obsessed with proving strength through how much space they occupy, control or destroy.

I viewed myself as this tiny kid from this tiny island, when I should have been viewing myself as a young man from Micronesia, a region rich with culture, talent and perseverance.

And I should have seen that right next to Guam is the Marianas Trench, the deepest place on this planet. It’s a world so submerged and unexplored that we’re only just beginning to understand what’s inside of it. I think that’s how we should view strength — true strength is defined by the depths of our character and our potential.

This piece was adapted from his TEDxMileHigh talk. Watch it here:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Meta Sarmiento is a Filipino rapper and poet from Guam, and he is now based in Denver. Sarmiento was a finalist for the 2019 Sonia Sanchez-Langston Hughes Poetry Contest, Top 12 Finisher at the 2018 WRLD UNDERGROUND MC TOURNAMENT, and a winner of 2015 Spoken Word for the World, where he was flown to Paris to perform during the UN Climate Negotiations. His work often explores themes of cultural identity, masculinity, family and love. Follow Meta on Instagram and Twitter @metasarmiento.

This post was originally published on TED Ideas. It’s part of the “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month in the US, and chances are you know someone who’s been bullied — or you’ve been bullied yourself.

Here, I’ve curated a list of TED and TEDx Talks that I feel unpack different aspects of the problems, solutions and experiences we’re facing in our modern world of bullying — both on and offline. I hope you’ll not only watch these talks, but also consider ways you might help to move the conversation on these issues forward. As you do, be an upstander: Show support to a target of bullying behavior or online harassment; report a bullying situation; or intervene on behalf of someone if it feels safe for you. Together, we can hopefully make it harder for bullies to thrive.

To This Day … for the bullied and beautiful – Shane Koyczan

Shane Koyczan’s spoken-word poem speaks to young people suffering from bullying in such a profoundly moving, empathic way that lifts the spirit and validates our humanity. He says, “If you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer.”

Watch an animated version of this talk:

Watch the talk:

How data from a crisis text line is saving lives - Nancy Lublin

Sometimes it’s not enough to try to help. Sometimes you need to be so creative, so savvy, so plain smart that you realize to reach today’s young people you need to use their megaphone – texting. Nancy Lublin had that vision. She says of her Crisis Text Line, “If you text us, ‘I want to die,’ or ‘I want to kill myself,’ the algorithm reads that, you’re code orange, and you become number one in the queue. So we can handle severity, not chronological.”

Watch the talk:

When online shaming goes too far - Jon Ronson

Jon Ronson paints such a vivid, unforgettable portrait of how a human being’s entire existence can be brutally and cruelly destroyed in an instant by an Internet mob. He uses humor and intelligence to call us out on our public shaming — and it works.

Watch the talk:

How online abuse of women has spiraled out of control - Ashley Judd

Courageous actress Ashley Judd stands on the TED stage and repeats the filthy, vile slurs flung at her by anonymous hordes on Twitter. The audience is silent – shocked and disheartened. There is an important difference, she says, between free speech and hate speech. And our legislators need to write and pass laws that reflect that.

Watch the talk:

Why I keep speaking up, even when people mock my accent - Safwat Saleem

Safwat Saleem grew up embarrassed about his accent and his stuttering. With great insights and an infectious sense of humor, he deconstructs what it means to be different from the norm and how he challenges the “preexisting notion of normal with my work and with my voice.”

Watch the talk:

Rethink before you type - Trisha Prabhu | TEDxTeen

Teenager Trisha Prabhu argues that it’s time to challenge people engaging in bullying behavior and find a way to make them stop. She applied science and tech to the problem and created a tool called Rethink, an automatic message that appears before an offensive post is sent and asks the sender if they really want to hurt or humiliate the recipient. (A startling 93.4% backed down.)

Watch the talk:

How little people can make a big difference – Charlie Cooper | TEDxJCUCairns

Nine-year-old Charlie wore glasses, struggled with school and had no friends. Then he came up with an ingenious idea: the Buddy Bench. Other children could approach any child sitting alone on the buddy bench and invite him to play, or go for a walk or share a laugh. Charlie Cooper will steal your heart.

Watch the talk:

What kids have to say about bullying and how to end it – Tina Meier | TEDxBend

Tina’s thirteen-year-old daughter, Megan, was the victim of a cruel cyberbullying hoax — and tragically, she committed suicide. Tina thinks about Megan every moment of every day. And while nothing will bring her daughter back, she hopes that she can help other parents. “Put down your cell phones,” she says. “Really listen.”

Watch the talk:

Don’t like clickbait? Don’t click – Sally Kohn

I originally had a quote from this great talk in my own TED Talk but, sadly, had to cut for time. Understanding how our clicking behavior contributes to a culture of humiliation that feeds bullying is key. As Sally Kohn explains, “Everything we blog, everything we Tweet, and everything we click is a public act of making media. We are the new editors.”

Watch the talk:

I grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. Here’s why I left – Megan Phelps-Roper

Megan Phelps-Roper shares a personal and powerful story of what can happen when we open ourselves to listening to ideological viewpoints different from our own.

Watch the talk:

Listening to shame – Brené Brown

Brené Brown has arguably done more to open the dialogue around shame than any other thinker today — and she does it brilliantly. In this TED Talk, she argues that vulnerability is not weakness. Brené’s talks have personally helped me immensely.

Watch the talk:

Embracing otherness, embracing myself – Thandie Newton

Thandie Newton speaks eloquently to anyone who has ever felt like “The Other.” She draws a vivid picture of how being different shaped her sense of identity. And she describes the path she took to accepting her otherness and ultimately blossoming.

Watch the talk:

This article was adapted for TED-Ed from this TED Blog post.

Next, read 6 effective ways to stop bullying and teach kindness to kids.

Armand Burger, Getty Images | iStock

All children deserve to learn in a safe, supportive educational environment. One education organization working toward this goal is GLSEN, which aims “to create safe and affirming schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.” Below, GLSEN ambassador and youth advocate Jeffrey Marsh offers 7 key pieces of advice for teachers in this excerpt from their excellent book, How To Be You:

I work with young people. They write to me all the time. They message me about their experiences. They communicate. They respect me. And there are a few magical things I’ve learned about how to treat them. If you really want to reach young people, if you want to know what helps them feel safe and cared for and ready to learn from you as an educator or school administrator or camp counselor, read on.

1. Really listen. Seems obvious, right? This is first because it is the most important. So many ills can be alleviated with concentrated respectful listening. You know deep down that you want to feel accepted and cared for and you want to feel like your opinions and experiences matter. The same is true for any student or young person you work with. Don’t dismiss. Don’t conflate. Don’t belittle and don’t rush any young person you’re talking to. Take the care you would give to a close friend and give that to a student. Sit for awhile. Pause before you respond. Really pay attention. Don’t cut them off. Listen. Also, don’t get all high and mighty. Assuming what someone means without actually asking for clarification is a big fat CDE: communication dead end. If you want a student to show up, then you need to do the work of showing them that it’s safe to do so. Along these lines, please ask follow-up questions. Don’t try to lead the conversation, but lean into it: “What do you mean?” Can you say more about that? Asking shows you care — it shows you’re listening.

2. Get to know the lingo. One of the best ways to show respect to someone from a different background or generation is to understand the terms they use — especially when it comes to how they define themselves. Some of my fans’ Twitter bios read like this: “I’m an a-romantic pansexual trans-fem DMAB.” I realized at a certain point that I needed a vocab lesson if I was going to be of any use at all! In my day (which wasn’t all that long ago) we didn’t use any of these terms. I needed to “meet them where they were” if I was going to connect with and help any young person. So I learned. I asked around. I found out what the terms were, what folks in school were using to define themselves and their experiences of the world. Knowing what the vocabulary was went a long way to helping me show that I meant business and was ready to accept and respect whoever I was talking to.

3. Lobby for safe spaces (or create them). Sometimes a teacher needs to be the one to advocate for the use of school space for clubs and gatherings that the school deems controversial or unimportant. Whether it’s an LGBT or religious or just a hobby club, young people need at least one safe space to make connections with peers and find out they are not alone or freakish or as weird as they may be thinking. A safe space of this kind has several hallmarks. It is clean and respectful. It is private. It is free from other activities and groups. It is free from haters and bullies, whether they are students or teachers who disagree with what the club is offering. If a school refuses to allow a safe space that you know your students need, look for ways to assist with the club outside your school.

4. Take a forthright unequivocal stand against bullying. In big ways and small ways, in your private life and in your public persona as an educator, you must take an anti-bullying stance. If any student senses an attitude of “Boys will be boys” or “Kids need to toughen up” or “It’s not that big of a deal,” you’ve already lost them. If you aren’t willing to take a strong no-tolerance policy against bullying in your own school or classroom, you will never reach your students effectively. I’d recommend zero tolerance. If you witness bullying or you find out it’s going on, you must show all the kids involved that bullying behavior has real (negative) consequences. Many schools have a structure in place for this kind of disciplinary action and my advice is to use that structure without hesitation. If you want to reach young people, you must be willing to respect them by keeping them physically and psychologically safe while they learn. Work to make your school’s anti-bullying policy comprehensive. An appropriate policy should cover gender, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, and all the reasons that kids are bullied.

5. Get help if you need it. Don’t believe the lie that you need to do it all yourself. You are not alone. There are a ton of organizations (GLSEN, for example) that love to help make schools safe for everyone. So Google for help. Reach out. Don’t get caught up in thinking that communicating with and helping students is all up to you.

6. Honor their experience. Just because you’re older and probably wiser doesn’t mean you’re right. If you disagree with a student, try interacting with them as you would with an adult. For whatever reason, many teachers just tend to assume that a student’s views and experiences are a little less valid than an adult’s. Why do we do this? It seems basically arbitrary in most respects. Sure, a young person is less like likely to have the depth and breadth of experiences that an adult has had, but that may not always be true. And if it is true, does it automatically mean that their opinions and experiences are somehow less valuable? Well…no.

7. Give yourself some credit. If only for just a moment, don’t judge your performance as a teacher; don’t get down about how you’re not doing this “right.” See yourself from the outside. Take note of how hard you’re trying. Notice how hard the profession of teaching can be. And notice how deeply impactful you are every day. We all remember the teacher who inspired us, who was nice to us when we needed it, or who we felt really got us. You’re changing lives, and it’s totally okay to acknowledge your good hard work enthusiastically and often.

Author bio: Jeffrey Marsh is a youth advocate and the author of How To Be You.

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How do you teach kids to stand up against bullying behavior? One TED-Ed Innovative Educator wants to show you how.

In 2012, middle school teacher Eric Johnson grew concerned about a lack of kindness between students. To address the issue, he created a 5-day lesson plan to help kids erase meanness in their lives. Since then, Johnson’s antidote to bullying behavior has been adapted by individual teachers for classrooms around the world.

To download Johnson’s anti-bullying lesson plan, go to EraseMeanness.org.

His anti-bullying framework includes thoughtful class exercises, student reflection — and powerful prompts, such as: “How do you want to be remembered?”

Questions like this one can make it easier for kids to understand the consequences of their everyday actions, notes Johnson. The goal? To help students choose kindness over bullying — not just in school, but for the rest of their lives.

We believe in the power of the individual. Simple acts of kindness by individuals help eliminate behavior that reduces the spirit of others. Be kind. — EraseMeanness.org

This article is part of the TED-Ed Innovation Project series, which highlights TED-Ed Innovative Educators and projects designed by educators, for educators. Art credit: iStock.

How do you teach kindness, acceptance and empathy to kids? We asked TED-Ed Innovative Educators to share their favorite ways to promote inclusive and positive social interaction in the classroom. Below, 6 effective ways to stop bullying and teach kindness to kids.

To combat bullying, show the ‘To This Day’ animated video. “I like this video because it relates to both poetry and bullying, and the strong animated images move at the same pace as Shane Koyczan’s poem,” says high school English teacher Evanthia Poyiatzi. Watch the ‘To This Day’ animated video here.

To teach kindness, ask kids how they want to be remembered. Do you want to be remembered as a bully, as a bystander…or as a kind and thoughtful hero? Questions like this one can make it easier for students to “get” the consequences of their everyday actions, notes middle school teacher Eric Johnson. For more questions, an extensive list of anti-bullying resources, and Eric’s 5-day lesson plan to help you teach kindness, go to EraseMeanness.org.

Try a student doodle challenge. One teacher challenged students to doodle about kindness. They could take the letters in the word “kindness” and doodle using the letters, or they could doodle anything that came to mind with regard to kindness. This student doodle is one result. It says “be kind.”

Teach good listening habits — by acting out bad habits. “I’ve found that one of the biggest hindrances to positive social interaction is the inability to listen well,” says one teacher. ”So I do the following exercise. First, I give each student a bad listening habit (looks at clock, interrupts regularly, makes the conversation all about himself/herself, focuses on other things besides the speaker, asks to use the bathroom in the middle of the conversation, answers mobile phone, etc). Then, I ask students to purposefully behave this way while discussing a prompt, and have students mingle around the room so they can meet a range of behaviors. Last, we debrief and share what it feels like to speak to someone with each of these bad listening habits. Students have fun behaving “badly” and develop an understanding of how their potential behavior can negatively affect someone else.”

Model polite behavior and kindness. ”I hear so many adults speak to kids in a condescending and even insulting tone. We need to say please and thank you and apologize when we make a mistake,” says English teacher Mitzi Stover. She adds, “This is not to say that we don’t have authority and need to exert it at times, but it is possible to be firm and kind.”

Show a StoryCorps video about the strength of allies. English teacher Josefino Rivera Jr. created this TED-Ed Lesson around a StoryCorps video in honor of Ally Week. He explains: “#AllyWeek is an international youth-led event encouraging students (and staff) to be allies with the lesbian, gay, transgender and bisexual members of their community in standing against bullying and name-calling, as well as developing skills to become stronger allies.” To help students develop the skills to become stronger allies right now, watch the StoryCorps video here.

Interesting in becoming a TED-Ed Innovative Educator? Fill out the application here.

Featured image from TED-Ed Animation: Rethinking Thinking.

Alix Generous, one of the youngest speakers at the TEDWomen 2015 conference, is an undergraduate student with Asperger’s syndrome. She is also a biology researcher, United Nations presenter  — and co-owner of the startup AutismSees, which offers technology tools designed to make presentations easier for people who avoid eye contact.

We caught up with Alix to discuss mental diversity, the DSM-V — and the idea that complex problems require unique minds.

For people who are just starting to learn about about the autism spectrum and the diversity of minds, where would you recommend they start? Are there any books or authors that you think do a nice job of explaining these topics?

Wikipedia. I would highly suggest Wikipedia. As for books, Andrew Solomon’s book Far From the Tree. Also, A Mind Apart by Susanne Antonetta. She’s a very famous neuroscientist. If you want to get into more pop culture neuroscience about mental disorders and stuff like that, I would suggest Oliver Sacks. He makes neuroscience and case studies sexy.

Now, if you want to be hardcore (like I do), you could read the DSM-V [the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders]. The nice thing is that it is understandable, and a lot of it is bullet points and lists of symptoms. So it’s not this dense book like everybody thinks it is. I mean, it’s a big book, but you’re not reading boring, small-worded essays — you’re actually seeing what doctors use to diagnose people with behavior problems. I started reading it when I was 13, when the DSM-IV was out, and I learned a lot. It debunks a lot of myths and stigmas associated with mental illness.

The one problem is that [the switch from autism to autism spectrum disorder in the DSM-V] generalizes autism, so for people who aren’t educated about it, they’ll assume that Asperger’s is the same thing as non-verbal autism. At the same time, in terms of the neuroscience behind these disorders — behavior, all human behavior, autism or not, exists on a spectrum, and so in that way it is more accurate. But in terms of the ignorance that exists in a lot of populations about autism, it’s not necessarily a good tool.

If you could synthesize your message, what do you want to say to students and teachers around the world about how to best relate to a diversity of minds?

Listen. That’s honestly it. People are often trying to understand people in relation to themselves and what they experience, but you can’t do that. You have to take yourself outside of who you are in order to really understand somebody. So when someone tells you that they have Asperger’s, don’t think of a bunch of symptoms — think about who they are and what they’re interested in and go off of that.

Once we start listening, how can we be more accepting and welcoming? What’s the best way to do that, to make room for everyone?

Be kind. That’s honestly what it comes down to. There is never a reason to be mean — you can even communicate constructive criticism in a manner that’s respectful and without being a pushover. Just be nice, even if you don’t understand.

What do you think that people get wrong about Asperger’s?

Well, oftentimes when people think of disabilities, they think of the extremity of disability. They think of someone who maybe can’t talk at all, and can’t engage in this world, and never has a hope to — but having a disability is not about that. Any label and diagnosis like Asperger’s is something that’s prescribed by a qualified professional in order to get reimbursed for insurance money. And Asperger’s differs from person to person, and you really can’t put it in a box, because everyone’s different. Like me, for example — I don’t care for anime or any of that stuff. I am a girly girl with Asperger’s. People with Asperger’s are stereotyped as being super nerds — and I am a nerd when it comes to science, but not with stuff like anime. But one of my best friends who has Asperger’s is really into all of that, and draws anime, loves Pokemon. My point is that everybody is different, and if you really want to connect with someone with Asperger’s, you do so by talking about something they’re interested in.

It’s all about the individual.

Yeah, it is. And that’s the case with everybody you meet. Regardless of their intelligence — the world does not need more intelligent people, it needs people who are kinder, and who are willing to create more positive energy to make it better.