5 ways you can help a friend suffering from depression
By Lisa LaBracio on February 10, 2016 in TED-Ed Lessons
Depression is the leading cause of disability in the world. In the United States, close to 10 percent of adults struggle with depression. But because it’s a mental illness, it can be a lot harder to understand than, say, high cholesterol.
One major source of confusion is the difference between having depression and just feeling depressed. Almost everyone feels down from time-to-time, but Clinical Depression is different. It’s a medical disorder, and it won’t go away just because you want it to. It lingers for at least two consecutive weeks and significantly interferes with one’s ability to work, play or love. Chances are you know someone who suffers from depression. Here are some ways you can help.
1. Help find help: If you know someone struggling with depression, encourage them – gently – to seek out help. You might even offer to help with specific tasks, like looking up therapists in the area or making a list of questions to ask a doctor. To someone with depression, these first steps can seem insurmountable.
2. Be informed: If they feel guilty or ashamed, point out that depression is a medical condition just like asthma or diabetes. It’s not a weakness or a personality trait, and they shouldn’t expect themselves to “just get over it” any more than they could will themselves to get over a broken arm. The more you know about mental illness, the better able you are to understand what they are going through, and to support them.
3. Don’t downplay it: If you haven’t experienced depression yourself, avoid comparing it to times you’ve felt down – comparing what they’re experiencing to normal, temporary feelings of sadness can make them feel guilty for struggling.
4. Stamp out stigma: Even just talking about depression openly can help. For example, research shows that asking someone about suicidal thoughts actually reduces their suicide risk. Open conversations about mental illness help erode stigma, and make it easier for people to ask for help. And, the more patients seek treatment, the more scientists will learn about depression, and the better the treatments will get.
5. Continue the conversation: Because depression’s symptoms are intangible, it’s hard to know who might look fine, but is actually struggling. Just because your friend may seem fine one day, don’t assume that they’ve ‘gotten better’. Remain supportive.
From the TED-Ed Lesson: What is depression?
Animation by Artrake Studio/TED-Ed
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Tags: Depression, GIFs
“A good friend is a connection to life — a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” Lois Wyse
I am sorry, but the Lois Wyse quote has nothing to do with depression. It is referring to how important real friendship really is; true friends are hard to come by. Ken Hill
It is whatever it means to the beholder…that’s the beauty.
The quote – albeit not the most suitable – can refer to point #5 about being supportive (i.e., being a friend).
It doesn’t have to do with depression but it has to do with the who article… being a friend.
Very interesting I have learned so much by reading that article I always though i suffered from depression I was confused I was just given a raw deal in life but it was up to me to take action and change that
Very good
I have a very dear friend who suffers from depression and I would really like to help her in any way I can.I am hoping to learn from this sight,ways to help her.Thank you in advance.
Well I have depression but I have no one to share with. My best friend gets bothered sometimes. I can’t express my feelings so I have to keep pretending that I am totally fine. If your friend is suffering from depression then at least listen to them. It’s not like temporary sadness. It is very long-lasting until it’s treated. Help them before it is too late, before you have to regret it.
Thank you for sharing this. There is help, and there are people who will listen to you. To talk to someone right now, please call 1-800-273-TALK.
Thank you for sharing your post. Would like to share with you and others out there who are in need of a listening ear: Please call the Nationwide Christian Trust prayer line open mon- fri 9am – 7pm: 01277 367 118
Also if you have a bible, may I encourage you to read Psalm 40
I am also suffering from depression. I know how it feels, how life feels so meaningless. I wish we had a platform where people going through this phase connected and talked about their feelings without getting judged.
I am very glad to discover TED-EDD.
Very informative Blog, depression is a important topic in today’s world. Too many students and people are uneducated about depression and end up doing something a person can’t come back from.
I have heard some discribe depression as “cancer of the mind” and I think it’s a pretty good description. I have battled (I try to use more positive terminology than “struggle” or “suffer from”) depression for close to 40 years. Depression can go into remission, for example. I have thought I was “cured” more than once, which is kind of awful because when depression relapses it’s a dark hopeless feeling. I know now that this will likely be a life long fight. I guess it’s a good thing I’m stronger than titanium.
Good for you Alizarin rain! You are winning the battle and thank you for sharing. My depressions seems to have destroyed my second marriage now and when those you love cannot make sense of it, you have an even bigger battle!
What happens if your friend or family member suffering from depression does not want to seek help (therapy, medicine, etc)? What are some other strategies that could help? Alternative routes or suggestions for the person OR family/friend?
The tips given are ready to lend a hand to individuals who suffer depression. Anyone can start with these tips to apply to their ill friend, and if it does not work, a professional help will then be the next alternative.
I’d Like to translate this article to italian, and publish it alongside with the original. Could I?
Yes! Go ahead. Please just include a link back to the original on TED-Ed Blog. Thanks!
Hi Laura,
I finally did it! You can find it here: http://www.perlavitachescegli.it/aiuto-depressione/
The first part is just an introduction and an explanation on why I decided to translate it, then there’s your article. I gave credits also on the images, that I decided to link directly from here.
Thank you again for this article!
Haunted by the black dog since early teens – sometimes you can work against it by training yourself to think round it. Sometimes I just let it go and spend a day in bed. Sometimes it wrecks everything. Friendships are a first casualty. So be nice to people who seem negative all the time, a smile and a chat can go a long way. You don’t have to be an expert to be human; we are all experts at that .
Great post. It is so true that seeking treatment can feel overwhelming to someone suffering from depression, and it is more helpful than you know to do some of the leg work. As a psychologist, I receive calls from concerned spouses, friends and family members who are trying to sort through therapist listings to find someone who has time and expertise to help their loved one. They do a great service.
Hi,
I honestly do not belong to the group of people writing comments on specific blogs. But this post actually helped me a lot. I’m suffering from strong depressions almost a decade and just some weeks ago it became very bad again. I tried opening up, talking to the last few real friends that I stood in touch with, but they all don’t understand. They say things like “if someone is really depressive and got suicidal thoughts, he ain’t talk about it”. But how can I get help if I’m not talking about it?
I wish I could show them this article so they finally understand, but at the moment I feel more like a burden to them than anything else. It’s weird that in times of Facebook people know hundrets of people, yet are so alone. But the reason for this kind of thing is just to complex for my head. It feels like a huge puzzle made out of millions of symptoms and we gotta find the cause for these symptoms. Fighting only the symptoms will not solve the problem.
Anyway, it’s nice to see people not beeing fed up by this illness, people who keep fighting, and people that keep helping. That’s a good feeling.
And by the way: Though the illustrations are meaningful and serious, I still think the dog is kinda looking cute. Isn’t it? I find it makes it easier to understand that though it looks like a dead end, it’s something that can be solved. I just wish there were more people helping each other.
Cheers from Germany
my mum suffered from depression and was always in a bad mood ,i felt unloved and unwanted ,my life reads like a chat magazine .now im 64 yrs i manage to cope with my depression i also support my daughter who has bi-polar
,my sister has also been diagnosed with it she is now 60 yrs old
whydoes it take doctors so long to do the tests to help people and give them the meds to help them .
It is very useful to me to understand more about the ways of helping my friends overcome their sorrow even depression. I agree that the most important thing is patience and empathy with their problems, and do not compare them to anybody else. Moreover, the knowledge about depression will help a lot in this case. Thank you so much for sharing
Feeling better takes time, and you can not magically snap out of depression. Changing your eating habits and getting some routine may help sometimes.
http://www.ibelieveinmothernature.com/my-brain/5-easy-ways-to-beat-depressive-disorder/
Someone told my wife about TED and i am thankful to know this site.
Hi im suffering depression in gradschool/academia. Unfortunately our society is not ready for helping someone with depression and majority of “friends” 360degree live with me are avoiding this as they are playing downside, usually they connected depression as lacking closeness to God. Oh what an annoying judement, what article says is true STOP playing judgement and STOP judging that we are human without faith to God. But, Im very lucky my university offer mental health help and now been under treatment for months. I also dont care if surrounding consider depression as stigma, I keep opening myself because I always can find someone who might survive too.